BREATHE

BREATHE 2008

2007-12-31T20:57:00.000+08:00

For new posts this 2008, please jump to

http://www.breathe2008.blogspot.com

or

http://milben.tk

see you all there!

Acrophobic and the Everest Summit

2007-11-05T16:00:00.000+08:00

The trespasser leaves the secret garden defiled
losing its sanctity and the familiar comfort
that one gets in solitary confinement.

What should be done when the home loses heart
and turns into nothing but a structure that can barely stand by itself?

What could be worse than a world full of masquerading strangers
to the eyes of an introverted man?

My body palls.

Hoy, Miss! Biyahe Tayo!

2007-10-23T09:27:00.000+08:00

Hoy, Miss!

Inabot ka na ng dilim diyan sa sakayan ng jeepney.

Hindi ka ba nangangatal sa lamig?

Mabuti na lang may payong kang panangga sa ulan ngayong gabi

Na siya ring lilim mo habang tirik ang araw kaninang tanghali

At naging silong sa hamog ng bukang-liwayway.

Hoy, Miss!

Kailan ka ba nagsimulang maghintay ng masasakyan?

Sa dami ng jeepney na dumaan ay ni isa’y wala kang pinara.

Di mo ba alam ang iyong pupuntahan

O takot kang tuluyang iwan ang pinanggalingan?

Hoy, Miss!

Sakay na sa auto kong puno ng gamit

At hayaan mong samahan kita sa iyong pagpapasya.

Sa panahong ganito,

kailangan mo ako, kailangan din kita.

Sabay tayong magliwaliw, maligaw, maaliw

Patungo sa sangandaan ng buhay.

Maaaring dugtungan, maaaring tapusin, maaring hayaang nakabitin

Leather

2007-10-02T13:14:00.000+08:00

wow! 3 years since this... uhmmm... stuff... my blogging experience started. it's been going well though not as frequent as i used to. nevertheless, it survives. Sans readers, i hope it continues to survive for many more years.

Plucked

2007-09-26T12:44:00.000+08:00

In a herd of white sheep, you were ostracized

Because of the brown spots you’ve got.

Never did you feel needed.

In fact, no one ever sought for a strand of your wool.

One time, as you rested alone behind the rock,

The serene empty valley awoke you.

Your heart trembled.

Where are they?, you asked.

BAAAAAAAAAH! BAAAAAAAAAAH!

You called for help even if you knew

that no one would hear your mute cries.

You quivered as you realized the confirmation of a doubt—

that nobody really cared

not even your good old guide.

You ran hoping to catch the end of the herd.

And you did

But only with your small eyes.

Too near yet so far, you mumbled.

With envious yearning, you watched from afar

As the heavens condoled

Bringing forth its mighty water archery.

It cleansed everything there was

Of impurities, of fraud.

The brown spots that troubled you

Were nothing but stubborn dirt—

Stubborn but temporary.

You’re as white as snow after all!

You were excited to rejoin your group

But you witnessed an appalling revelation.

The white washed off the coveted sheep

And the smell of asbestos filled the place.

Vindicated? Pointless longing?

It’s a new climb towards Maslow’s third, fourth, and fifth.

Delusion

2007-08-17T00:10:00.000+08:00

It's free to dream, they say.
But I say, dreaming comes with a price
when it starts to consume me, when it immobilizes me, when I start living a lie.
I know the dreaming, in that sense, has got to stop.

I need to take a breather,
more like a slap
and direct my eyes somewhere else,
take my heart back and pound it a little,
find my soul and give it a shake.

They say, when you grow older, you become wiser.
I think, I do not.
There's a thin line between dreaming and hallucinating.
Unfortunately, i still cannot tell when I am about to trespass
the forbidden grassland.

My stuborness worsens my plight.

Ready to Sky Dive

2007-08-14T14:26:00.000+08:00

It seems the time is right to take the free fall once again.
My courage is as high as the altitude of this flight.
Now, I am all too excited and raring to jump.

As I look down, I feel the adrenaline rush intensify
which brings me to the edge... almost.

ALMOST!

My blood ceases to circulate the moment I realize that this dive is different-- different because this time my hands are cold and bare.

Close

2007-07-16T15:41:00.000+08:00

by Aaron Lines

Across the miles, it's funny to me
How far away you are, but how near you seem to be
I could talk all night just to hear you breathe
Spend my life just living this dream
You're all I'll ever need

You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love, someone to hold
When I'm in your arms
I need you to know
I've never been
I've never been this close

With all the loves I used to know
I kept my distance, I never let go
But in your arms, I know I'm safe
Cause I've never been held and I've never been kissed in this way
Yeah, you're all I'll ever need
You're all I'll ever need

You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love, someone to hold
When I'm in your arms
I need you to know
I've never been, I've never been this
Close enough to see it's true
Close enough to trust in you
Closer now than any words can say

And when I'm in your arms
Need you to know
I've never been
I've never been this close

You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love, someone to hold
When I'm in your arms
I need you to know
I've never been.. I've never been
Darling, I swear
I've never been.. I've never been this close

Please help me find the music to this.

leave me not in limbo

2007-07-10T14:10:00.000+08:00

firing questions in oblivion
until each shot hits the thick envelope of shush
that separates us.
bullets recoil back to me
hitting a nerve,
killing my pride,
disconnecting my body to my mind, to my soul...

Happy Ending

2007-07-02T21:12:00.001+08:00

parang binuhusan ako ng nagyeyelong tubig,
nangangatog buong katawan sagad sa buto,
nakatulala't di makapaniwala sa mga pangyayari.

sadyang mahirap malungkot kung nalimot mo nang umiyak
lalo na't kung tila sapilitang tinuklap ang langib ng iyong papagaling na sugat.

tila natuyo na ang luhang daramay sa kalbaryong ito o
unti-unting naiipon sa loob, nakakulong, at
dahan-dahang ako'y nilalason.

hindi ba kalunus-lunos na sa sarili kong perpektong mundo,
sa sarili kong mahiwagang kuwento,
ang wakas ay tulad din ng realidad--
mag-isa, nakasiksik sa sulok,
nangungulila sa sariling happy ending.

Lost Star

2007-06-27T21:29:00.000+08:00

Bituing malamlam ang kislap,
sadya bang ningning mo'y kupas na?

Di ba't kahapon lang ay tila kay sigla mo pang inakit aking mga mata?

Subalit mukhang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin.

Ngayon, bakit ika'y nagkukubli sa maulap na langit
at bukas, tuluyan bang palalamon ang aandap-andap mong kinang
sa karagatan ng mga talang umaasang sasapit din ang panahon
na may tagahangang sa kanila'y susubaybay?

Almost Wasted: Song for a Hero

2007-06-19T12:16:00.000+08:00

I’m intoxicated, walking the dark empty streets of life

and don’t even have the faintest idea of what brought me here.

But one thing’s clear and that is, it’s going to be a long lonely walk back home.

Now, is it too much to ask for a companion—

to lend one’s ears, to give one’s hands, share one’s heart of genuine concern for me

until I am sober and back again on my two feet

balanced by my logic and my fickle emotions?

beautiful anger

2007-06-18T13:23:00.000+08:00

isn't it a wonder how your eyes meet the eyes?
and how empty words can be so profound!
how the air you breathe in is never enough!
how fragile hands can be at the same time your pillar of strength!
how the universe spins profusely--
leaving the jar empty of cookies
but crumbles of open-ended questions.

will you throw them away or
will you just let the ants consume all that was left?

Logorrhea

2007-06-10T22:28:00.000+08:00

There’s so much to say but these are not really essential.

The words in my mind attempt to escape; sporadically bombarding every pore of my being.

But all cavities have shut and refused to unburden my soul.

Decapo

2007-05-28T21:16:00.000+08:00

talagang darating pala sa punto na ika'y sadyang mapupuno
ng mga katanungang dati nang naitanong
subalit ni minsa'y di nabigyan ng sapat na kasagutan.

sabay sa tensyon ng paghagod ng bawat kwerdas ng biyolin,
unti-unting aapaw ang "bakit?" at "bakit hindi?"
pilit na iintindihin ang lohikang naloka
sa pagpapanggap na may taglay itong talino.

sunod na palaisipan ay "kailan...
...titigil ang pagkabuwang sa pagtarok ng mga bagay-bagay?"
isa ba itong biyaya ng pagiging tao o
sumpa ng isang butil ng sala?

magtatapos ba ito sa pagkalunod sa kapal ng hanging di gagalaw
hanggat di tumitila ang patak ng tambol?

defying gravity

2007-05-14T23:04:00.000+08:00

as if on its own journey, the heart pounds anonymously,
which the mind will never comprehend.

...desert heat intensifies in the day,
then departs in the eve for his mistress.
the night grows colder as each star claims its spot...

mercury drops...

the faintest breeze caresses my soul as i freely fall.
i helplessly sink, head first, in the open air
as if an eighty-pound block is chained around my neck
dragging me down faster, closer to the ocean floor
causing every ounce of oxygen-- of life to be drained.

pendulum stops...

i lose consciousness
but gain freedom from wishful thinking
and give fantasy a license to reality.

From Wander to Wonder

2007-05-09T00:16:00.000+08:00

After I finished college, my life had been full of question marks. I was never ready, no matter how hard I tried visualizing it, to take that first dip into that cold pool until everyone said 'coward' then pushed me. It was not a betrayal for I myself nodded in agreement. I knew it all along-- the naive me squeezing all bitterness of life early on and wishing that the first drop of honey soon titilates my tastebuds.

I think this is it. I believe this is my renaissance. Oh, how long have I waited! I have been hopeless yet hopeful countless times. But the "NOW" gives me that Aha! moment. It clears the haze.

I can't help but smile in awe of how God's gifts have been unwrapping one by one. This surpasses what I wished for. His faithfulness is in evidence. His embrace so comforting.

way back into love

2007-03-17T09:26:00.000+08:00

was supposed to watch this but i saw dreamgirls instead.
now i hear this song on the radio and it says "SAPUL"!

lyrics - way back into love

irreplaceable

2007-03-06T12:52:00.000+08:00

buti na lang hindi ito yung kanta ni Lord... haha

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing? nothing at all to you

amour de soi (pas assez)

2007-03-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

it's not enough,

it seems.

i seek,

in waiting,

sometimes in patience,

at times not.

then i crumble into pieces,

into words that are true

yet some lie.

until confusion lays me down

to slumber,

to forget,

and to be lost

as the clock ticks...

muli

2007-02-27T03:27:00.000+08:00

muling binalot ng lumbay ang gabi
pagkagat ng pangungulila
sa kung anumang di matukoy ng diwa
ni ng damdaming nauupos.

ako'y nangangamba't balisa sanhi ng dilim ng unos
subalit sa bawat patak ng luha ng langit
nakadarama pa rin ako ng kalingang handog nito
at ang pakikiramay niya sa aking pagluluksa
habang pinaglalamayan ko ang pagal na katawan
at pilit binubuhay muli ang pusong nakalimot tumibok.

ang katahimikang nakabibingi'y
patuloy na di maliliwanagan ang mga palaisipang
walang humpay sa paurong-sulong na pagtakbo
upang manggulo ng katinuan
at di maisalarawan ang tunay na emosyon.

tila bilang na ang pagsapit ng paghuhukom
na anumang oras ay sasambulat sa sanlibutan
datapwat, kahit na hindi tumigil ang pag-inog ng buhay ng iba
sa nakatakdang pagkagunaw ng mundo ko,
handa akong malunod sa muling kabiguan.

The Last Time

2007-02-06T15:24:00.000+08:00

emo mode... malapit na kasi ang araw ng mga puso.
mas masarap siguro nitong kantahin kung may pag aalayan talaga.

by ERIC BENET

The first time I fell in love was long ago.
I didn't know how to give my love at all.
The next time I settled for what felt so close.
But without romance, you're never gonna fall.

After everything I've learned;
Now it's finally my turn.
This is the last time I'll fall in love.

The first time we walked under that starry sky,
there was a moment when everything was clear.
I didn't need to ask or even wonder why,
because each question is answered when your near.

and I'm wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds,
this is the last time I'll fall in love.

Now don't hold back, just let me know.
Could i be moving much too fast or way too slow.
'Cause all of my life, I've waited for this day.
To find that once in a lifetime,
this is it, I'll never be the same.

You'll never know what it's taken me to say these words.
And now that I've said them, they could never be enough.
As far as I can see, there's only you and only me.
This is the last time I'll fall in love.

peter pan

2007-02-05T20:49:00.000+08:00

if life's going to be like this the rest of my existence
or if life gets any worse than this,
it seems that there's no sense in waking up to another day.

busy searching for the rescuer
from being dragged and drowned by life,
i ceased breathing.
but aren't we all crying "save me"?
so, who's left to to do the heroic act?

good thing, hope, no matter how small that is i have,
blindly drives me to meet the sun and kiss the morning dew.
the inner spark still tries hard to keep me warm and
a lil wackiness gives me the right dose of chill.

wendy.
tinker bell.
bring me back to never never land.

Anghel sa Lupa

2007-02-03T00:32:00.000+08:00

the videoke mode continues...

from Stonefree's latest album- Delorean

Mula nang makilala ka
Di na makapaniwala
Na kahit pa magka-iba
Tayo’y sadyang naging isa
Sa Langit ay ba’t kumalas
Nahulog ba mula ‘taas
Pak-pak mo ay pakibaklas
Nang magkasama ka ng mas madalas

Anghel sa lupa mananatili ka
Hindi na hahayaang lumipad at iwan ako
Anghel sa lupa nahuhumaling na
Langit nadarama pag kapiling kita

Sana’y di na lumisan pa
Di ko yata makakaya
Ang di ko na makita pa
Pagtitig mo sa ‘king mata
Naliligaw ba ng landas
Nariyan ka pa ba bukas
Pakpak mo ay pakibaklas
Nang makasama ka ng mas madalas

Dapat ba sa isang mortal
Ang sa iyo ay magmahal

Nais kong ialay ang buong buhay ko sa’yo

singing blankly

2007-01-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

after two weeks of sounding like a frog due to severe sore throat, i can now finally sing again. and here are the two songs that keep running in my head.

TRYING TO GET THAT FEELING AGAIN
Christian Bautista

At any moment she'll be walking through that door
She won't find me behind it
cause the feeling is gone and
just won't come back anymore
I work so hard to find it

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
All around, trying to get the feeling again
The one that make me shiver
Make my knees start to quiver
Every time she walks in

I've looked high, low
Everywhere I possibly can
But there's just no trying to get the feeling again
It seemed to disappear as fast as it came

read every book
look for every meditation and poem
just to bring home that old sweet sensation
but it ain't no used to me, trying to get the feeling again

Where did it run to? I thought I'd done all that I could
To keep the love burning
But whatever I've done, I just haven't done it too good
Cause all that's left is yearning

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
Like a bloodhound searching for a long lost friend
could you help me rediscover
the way to re be her lover once again

read every book
look for every meditation and poem
just to bring home that old sweet sensation
But it ain't no used to me, to try and get that feeling
I want to get that feeling again

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
trying to get the feeling again

GRAVITY
John Mayer

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could

It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me (Now how can that be?)

Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
ooh.. where the light is!

Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Keep you all where the light is
Just keep us where the light is
ooh.. where the light is!

unfortunately, i seem to not understand a lot of things lately including the relevance of these songs to my life as i have it now (so please try to enlighten me). my mind is busy worrying which i know it shouldn't be doing. i just hope that i could untie the knot real soon.

brink of breakdown

2007-01-12T17:16:00.000+08:00

can't wait for the sand and salt water,
the full moon as witness,
the island and the soul
ceasing existence
in a nanosecond
to feel the void
and shed a tear or two,
to feel the agony and bliss
of compounded emotions--
unprocessed, poisonous.

the spirit writhes in pain
despite the therapeutic harmony
which should salve the soreness
but instead lashes deep wounds
and leaves scars.

then continue hurting
trying to justify the circumstances;
and be a martyr not for anyone else
but for one's self
just this once
and be ego-centric.

MMFF 2006: Almost a Disaster

2007-01-03T15:17:00.000+08:00

So far I have seen four movies out of the nine entries. These are Enteng Kabisote, Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah, Ligalig, and Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo.

Enteng Kabisote 3: Okay Ka Fairy Ko... The Legend Goes On and On and On

For an Okay Ka Fairy Ko baby like me, it was a must to catch the latest sequel not because I was dying to see Vic Sotto and Aiza Seguerra but because it has been like a tradition. Every year, it transports me back to the late 80's to early 90's. However this year, the film failed to do that. Everybody in the movie seemed to have matured except for the character of Enteng. The ensemble's acting just didn't gel. The story sucked (but then again, was there a story in the first place?!)plus it was too commercialized that it wasn't fun at all. The only saving grace for the movie was Jose Manalo's impeccable timing in delivering his punchlines! I also couldn't get enough of Allan K's broken mirror scene. That was hilarious. How about the special effects? Hmmm... Good intention. Bad execution.

Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah Ze Moveeh

I had high expectations of this film and I wasn't disappointed except for that car -throwing scene. I was wondering why a caliber of Joel Lamangan could let a mediocre animation be part of his work? Very good casting except for Pops and her sidekicks. I was told Pop's character was supposed to be French. Pops, English isn't French. Nevertheless, this film was way much better than the Encantasia chopseuy.

Ligalig

I was expecting an action film from Cesar. If I had known that this CM production was suspense-thriller, I would have not thrown more than a hundred bucks. Anyway, it wasn't a total waste. Sunshine tried to act. Cesar tried to experiment on camera movements and effects. The point was they tried. Kudos nonetheless (about .5 only). Johnny Delgado and Celia Rodriguez gave class to this work. They were simply superb!

Kasal, Kasali, Kasalo

It was the first movie of the Juday-Ryan tandem. The first time I saw them kiss on the film made me blurt out "YUCK!" But their chemistry just grew on me until I found myself already engrossed with the characters. By the way, Jose Javier Reyes did a great job weaving seamlessly such a story. Juday was effective in portraying her role in all aspects specially to solicit a laugh (when she bowed back to the waitress as she exited the Japanese resto) and to juice a teardrop (when she broke down as she confides to her mom Ryan's womanizing). Indeed, the REAL Best Film of the Festival.

Just one more movie and I'm qualified for the raffle. Definitely I am not watching Tatlong Baraha! I saw its trailer. Madam Violet (the producer), the trailer should showcase the best of the film. Was that the best?! Anyhow, Shake, Rattle and Roll 8 and Matakot Ka sa Karma are out of my list since I don't want to pay just to torture my self. So, it's a choice between Mano Po 5: Gua Ai Di and Super Noypi. Tough choice, right? So which one will be less of a waste? But I have to watch since I don't want to lose my chance to win a hundred thousand.

I just hope next year the supposedly Film Festival will truly showcase films of quality. It's about time the Filipino audience get to enjoy and be proud of a Filipino film. To the producers, the moviegoers have taste. We watch Hollywood films. If you can't match them, spare us the half-baked effects, stick to the basic and perfect that!

UPDATE:
It was neither Super Noypi nor Mano Po. For the first time, i watched a Shake, Rattle and Roll film in a movie house and actually paid 120 for that. Hmmm... Nothing spectacular. But definitely it was one of the better films in the festival.